The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida

The Way of the Superior Man

David Deida

Stage: all stages, relationships

I can already hear the hate comments coming!

Before people who have NEVER EVEN READ THE BOOK start giving me hate for it, I want to say this:

It is NOT a book about men being superior to women. It’s about men becoming superior to themselves. It’s an internal battle.

Which is exactly what personal development is, not true?

All right, let’s go.

The first thing to keep in mind when you read this book is an openness to the ideas of masculine and feminine energies (also called sexual essence) within all of us. (Side note: a man can have a more feminine sexual essence, and a woman a more masculine essence. Gay people also have these energies. The author makes this very clear from the get-go).

A lot of the book explains how these energies are different and how they can work together to make a beautiful, fulfilling relationship possible. (Yes, David Deida also talks about sex in this book).

But of course, this is about the superior MAN, so he also goes in depth about essentially what makes a man. He touches on the notion of Nice Guys (click here for a review of No More Mr Nice Guy) and Alpha brutes. Here’s Deida’s definition of a Superior Man:

“This man is unabashedly masculine– he is purposeful, confident, and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor– and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.”

That is the essence of the book.

Some of the points he makes about masculinity include:

  • Purpose (essential for all men)
  • Living at your edge
  • Openness (especially through pain)

And although he never says the word “enlightenment,” that is what he also advocates throughout the book, referring to it as ” ego death.”

David Deida also explains the feminine to men. Certain aspects we as men can find frustrating, confusing, or better ignored are actually meant to be embraced.

I will also say this about this book: It is written in a style that is very abstract. It would have been better for most people if it didn’t contain so many mentions of “love,” “courage,” “wisdom” and “divine.” These I would have preferred it have more hard-and-fast vocabulary as well as more examples and actionable steps, particularly in the realm of purpose.

That’s just something to keep in mind when reading it. The wisdom far outweighs this cost.

I would even advise some women to read this, and you will gain an understanding of what it means to be a man. Why some of the things we do seem stupid to you 😜

Favorite Quote:

“It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart. It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine.”

The Verdict:

This is a phenomenal book despite its abstract language. It is a MUST-READ for any man (or woman, for that matter)!